Don’t Criticize Me, Please



I’ve been told, by my loving little sister, that I own too many turtlenecks, one of my new purses is too gold (Me: I like it. Her: But it’s gold), I don’t dress appropriately, my appointment scheduling is dumb, I have prominent dark circles under my eyes (Wonder who you got that from?), I should drive with my hands at 10 and 2, and I talk through my nose with a southern twang (Have you ever considered voice lessons?). There’s more, something about me is critiqued each time I see her, just can’t think of them at the moment.

I am not the only one who falls under this scrutiny. While selfishly thankful I am not the only one being picked on, I feel bad for everyone else.

I wonder, what happens in one’s life to make one so critical of others? In her case, was it something learned from our mother? Maybe. Probably.

Is it a controlling thing? If I try to control your life, I then feel I am in control of my own out of control life?

Is it one’s own lack of self confidence, self worth, fear of not adding up to other’s expectations? By finding fault with you, I feel better about me? Probably. I’ve met that personality type many times in my life.

My late husband: If I ever get that fat, just shoot me. He did and I didn’t shoot him. I loved him, all of him, regardless.

I always try to remember that I am Not perfect. I was not put on this earth to criticize or judge other people. That is not my job… That is His job.

I love my sister with all my heart. She is so very precious to me. I try to overlook her critiques, to turn the other cheek so-to-speak. One day though, I will have had enough and repeat to her the words I said to my ‘perfect’ son years ago…

It’s time for you to come down from your pedestal and join the rest of us imperfect people.

He’s never forgotten. He leapt from that pedestal long ago and his beauty takes my breath away.








This entry was posted in Children, Criticism, Family, Life, Life. Isn't it Grand!, Love, Men, People, Sisters, Uncategorized, Women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Don’t Criticize Me, Please

  1. Glynis Jolly says:

    If you have the courage, which may be difficult to muster up (I know from personal experience.), tell her what you told your son as soon as possible. She’s missing out on friendships and closeness with others. I would guess (and it is just a guess) that she’s the one everyone tried to avoid at family gatherings. She may be a wonderful and loving person but no one is willing to get that close to see that.

    • pardenme says:

      Thank you, Glynis. I expect I will have the chance to do just that when next I see her and will not pass up the opportunity. She is never avoided at gatherings and adored by all. Maybe it’s a personality quirk that most simply overlook? I don’t know.

  2. suzjones says:

    I think the time will come when you have to say that. Remind her that she is lucky to have a sibling. There are many who don’t.

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